believe me before my fate finds me
by lupins black
Summary: the scene that was never written in POA. Dumbledore has come to Sirius before the dementors come. Sirius must convinve him of his innocence if he is to live at all


Bound and chained Sirius was 'escorted' up to the charms class room by Serverus Snape. "You know Black; I do enjoy knowing that I am responsible for you getting your comeuppance. Ironic that it used to be you bringing hell to me all those years ago, and now it is I who is taking you to your own hell." Sirius was to defeated to retaliate against a word that was said

Snape laughed cruelly as he pushed Sirius up a few stairs causing him to trip. "I do believe this is the _soul_ trip of a life time!" he continued, as they turned the final corner to the charms classroom.

"You're a bastered Black. A sick sadistic betraying bastered. Whys those fools ever put up with you and never saw you for who you really were I will never know." This caught a spark in Sirius.

"HOW DARE YOU! THEY WERE FIFTY TIMES THE PEOPLE THAT YOU WERE."

"And look where it got them. But undoubtedly not without you help." Sneered Snape.

Sirius lunged for Snape only to hear a yell of "Patrificas Totalus" and have his body snap together. Dumbledore like Sirius had never seen before came into Sirius view. This Dumbledore was cold angry and terrifying to look at, even if the hatred wasn't directed at you.

"You may go Serverus. I will guard Mr Black until the demontors come." Snape nodded and left immediately casting one more loathed glance back at Sirius. Dumbledore did not take his cold eyes off Sirius the whole time and Sirius felt himself fall even more than he thought possible into.

"Where did we go wrong Sirius? What could have caused you to turn to darkness?" Dumbledore said after a time. Sirius who had turned his face to the floor, unable to keep his unbearable gaze, lifted his face to look once more into Dumbledore's eyes

"Can't you see Dumbledore? I have never turned to the darkness. Not even in my worst moments in Azkaban could tempt me into the horror and evilness that is Voldemort."

"I can see very clearly that facts that show me that I was deceived in the boy that I saw as a student here so long ago." The hatred and disgust shown so brightly in Dumbledore's eyes came through very clearly in Dumbledore's voice. "That student would never have murdered fifteen people in cold blood!"

"That student didn't. That student is still here in chains before you. The only darkness that is in this figure now that wasn't in the student of so long ago, is the shadow that was brought on him in Azkaban. I am begging you Dumbledore. Look past the facts and into me. I know that it is too late for my fate to be spared. But my last wish is that the man that I looked up to as a father figure and more when I had none, see what I really am before I die. I am not a murderer." Tears had sprouted behind Sirius' eyes as he spoke and try as he might to keep them in, those tear broke loose down his dirty face. Though his vision blurred though the tears, Sirius could see that a new emotion was clear on Dumbledore's face. Pity

"If I was your father figure then how come you did not come to me when the temptation of the darkness came over you? I could have helped you."

"Albus please you must believe me. I was not the spy for the dark lord. It was Peter. I did nothing."

"Sirius, Peter is dead! You killed him your self. You cannot deny it."

"I ..." Sirius' voice cracked, "I did not kill Peter. Even when I had the chance to tonight. He betrayed Lily and James. He killed those innocent muggles and he cut of his own finger before he left me there to be framed." Sirius saw that Doubt crept into Dumbledore's expression as his face softened a little, but still fierce enough to tame a rough lion.

"Sirius my time grows short. The dementors will be here soon and I did not come here seeking stories. I wanted to know why you did it and nothing more."

"HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO ME? IM INOCENT!" Sirius screamed in frustration, causing Dumbledore to jump up and level his wand.

"Sirius Black, you were the potter's secret keeper, you were there in the street explosion and you were the only one to survive it. What else is there to believe?"

"Believe this. The night before the potters were killed Peter and I switched secret keepers. Voldemort knew that I would have been James's first choice in the job. We thought that he would never expect Peter, the worthless little worm. So we switched. No one knew that Peter was really working for Voldemort. Peter betrayed them. He just told Voldemort were they were. As if it didn't matter that they would die because of it. He killed them. I wanted to kill him." Sirius said bitterness and loathing cutting up every syllable.

"So you went after him and killed him and all the muggles as well?"

"I went after him to kill him. That much was true. But poor little pathetic Pettigrew pulled one more over me again. What you don't know Dumbledore is that we are all unregistered animagus. We became that when we were fifteen to help Remus on the full moons. We comforted him at those times, all three of us. James was a stag, I a dog and Peter a rat. When I went after him I cornered him in the alleyway and then he started to shout making people come look. Then He cut off his own finger and made the ally way explode killing the people die and transforming to a rat and running downy the sewers. I never knew why he didn't kill me as well. It would have been better than this. But I think that's what he thought. Stupid little fat Peter struggling to keep up with us was really playing us all. He had manipulated it so that I lost everything in one night, one hour even. I was shock. My brain couldn't handle it. I broke down and laughed, not at anything. I just couldn't cope." Sirius's voice trailed off and he looked at his own hands turning them over and examining every point of them. Dumbledore tuned to watch him with a calculating gaze.

"But you escaped. How?"

"Azkaban doesn't guard against dogs leaving the island. It was easy." He shrugged

"If it was so easy, then why didn't you do it before? Why now?"

"Before I didn't have a reason to come out. Everyone hated me and believed me a murderer and if I escaped then, people would have been even more suspicious of me. Last summer it was different though. Fudge was making his rounds and he let me keep this copy of the daily prophet." Sirius dug into the folds of his loose rags that counted for clothes. It was the clipping of the Weasley's on their holiday that they won. He gave it over to Dumbledore who gave him a confused quizzical look.

"Look on the shoulder of the boy Ron. I recognised it as Pettigrew, even without the missing toe." Dumbledore stared amazed.

"The paper said that the boy was a Hogwarts and friends with Harry. I couldn't let Harry be in trouble and be around Pettigrew. So I escaped and sought a way to get Pettigrew out of Hogwarts. That is what I was doing when I had the knife in the boy's dormitory. I would never harm Harry. I think of him as a son to me. He is my godson. I love him more than life itself."

"So you came to save Harry? Not harm him. Does he know this?" Sirius nodded.

"Is Harry and his friends ok? I don't remember much more than Remus transforming."

"There was not lasting damage to an of them that madam Pomfrey cannot take care of in a day." Again Sirius nodded.

"As I said Dumbledore, I know that I have to face the Dementors tonight and I am not afraid of that. Just promise me that Harry will be happy and that you will tell him of me. Things that will not make him to ashamed to be connected to me. Please."

"I will tell him things that need to be told, but do not sound to defeated. There is always hope." Dumbledore said kindly as he lowered himself to floor where Sirius had clasped and clutched Sirius shoulder.

"Please Dumbledore, keep him happy and safe. But I also have one last request."

"I see no need as I am sure that the situation can be saved."

"Don't say that Dumbledore, it will take more than a miracle for me to either escape or for the ministry to believe a werewolf and three kids. But when the ministry has come and the dementors have…. Have done what they came to do. Don't make me live like that. Don't make me carry on without a soul. I would be more then unbearable. Please, find a way to finish me off." Sirius's voice choked up and he could not stop the wracking sobs that over took him. Albus took him into his embrace and whispered

"I Will not fail you again, my son." They stayed like that for a moment before Dumbledore got up and made his way across the room. "I must go. I have a lot to do in a short space of time. Be strong my boy and never give up hope." And with that Dumbledore strode out of the room leaving Sirius to sit there, waiting for his fate to catch up with him.


End file.
